Ticking . . .

Things that make me tick . . .

Good & Bad . . .

Dear ReadersPeople Who Stumbled Upon This Blog,

I have been absent (can you be absent when you haven't really got into a regular habbit yet?). There are both good and bad reasons for my silence. . .

The Good:

A vacation was had, enjoyed and relaxed on. 7 Days of heaven in Samoa, reading plenty of books, melting from my lounger into the sea, and I found Nemo!!!, hung out with Mamakat, and generally got absorbed into the culture and warmth of the islands. . .

The Bad:

Post vacation I had a stay in hospital... no I didn't catch anything nasty from drinking the water or from any large (or small) Samoan men. The hemaglobin and iron bottomed out of my bloodstream and I was left running on empty. Big time, I had zero energy, I couldn't walk more than a few meters without feeling light-headed or dizzy and my motivation had reached an all time low. In hindsight, this wasn't a new problem, and I had been feeling run down for a while, however me being me I refused to stop and listen to my body so it stopped me...bugger! Thanks to the anonymous donors, who have since topped me up with some red stuff! I am feeling healthier already and getting back on track slowly. . .

I have to say I felt a little bit like a vampire or Sookie Stackhouse, my transfusion started at 1am and I was wheeled (in bed) through the hospital from ED to ward largely in the dark. . .

Needless to say I have returned (:

A Horrible Person . . .

I think I am a horrible person, the worst of the worst - I am practically the beggar on the street corner with a pile of starving puppies that I will drown and use the money you give me to buy beer. . . well not quite I do love puppies (and kittens and chicks and baby most things except baby snakes they are still snakes at the end of the day). Why am I horrific, a threat to society and possibly certifiable? Well . . .

I am a trainee paramedic, I am learning and LOVING it! OK not so bad so far.... Because at the moment my "paramedic" career is still in its very early stages I am a volunteer, so I only do one 12hour shift a week. Which is enough quite frankly, especially alongside my paid 60 hour week, training and studying. Still we haven't yet got to the root of my evil ... here goes... I crave, yearn for and hope that people hurt themselves, try to die, maim, injure, crash, slip, trip and fall - but and this is the kicker - I want them to do it only in the 12 hour period when I am working. Now before you send the men in the white coats to take me away, I don't want them to die - that is messy and too much paperwork but I do want the opportunity to save them.

I am jealous tonight because a man tried to commit suicide by shooting himself, he succeeded in shooting himself but not in dying... good result - except for the fact he did it on day shift and not my night shift.... does that make me evil????

Lights and sirens and blood, guts and gore press my buttons...problem?

Loving My Family and Friends . . .

Whilst keeping up the smoke screen, there are people that matter to me that will no doubt make an appearance here in some form. So I thought it was only fair to introduce you to some star players in my life:

MUMMAKAT: My Mum, also one of my best friends. She dragged brought me pretty much single-handedly and bloody well if I do say so myself. She is giver, a lover (not in the family that plays together stays together way), a mentor and an absolute go getter. Mummakat and I have always had plenty of fun together, we drink together, shop together and cry together. She is my inspiration and my rock, and often some times helps me out financially *grin*!

THE SPERM DONOR: Dad, with whom I don't have much of a relationship. No, He wasn't an actual sperm donor - He and Mamakat were married! As a child I spent half of every holidays with him, it was only as I grew up that I realised there wasn't much holding us together apart from DNA. He has made me cry more than any other in my life, and let me down but obviously our expectations of each other are just not on par. We do the birthday and christmas phone call thing but that is about it...

SMACK: Dads daughter, my half sister who I have never thought of as a half any thing! Whilst I have never lived with her, we are close and always have been. Six years my junior, she has finally reached the age where we can drink together and when we catch up now it is drunken fun. She is studying in another city to me right now and I am so proud of her (and her drunken escapades).

DJTD: One of my best friends, we have survived living together and are still as tight as anything. She has seen me at my best, my worst, my most liquored and still loves me. She is a superhero, a boring accountant by day and a sex-pot DJ by night!

LOO: Another bestie - we haven't known each other for that long but we clicked the first night we met (over a vodka or twelve) and haven't looked back. She and I are trouble TROUBLE together, especially with a bottle involved. She is off galavanting around the globe currently as I stay behind missing her plenty and living vicariously through her.

MIDGET: A great friend, shorter than me by miles a wee bit which is almost unheard of! She is a party animal always up for fun and antics. A superstar of a woman, determined, driven and absolutly addicted to facebook.

THE EX: The man I spoke of in this post, now a friend. We are currently selling the home we brought together and dealing with all the emotions involved with that, not to mention the end of our relationship. Both our families had us pretty much walking down the isle, so it was a bit of a shock for all when we parted.

Small Things . . .

Laughter on a warm summer breeze,
Goosebumps along arms after a sneeze,
A lighthouse blinking on a misty night,
The suns rays sinking slowly from sight,
A flutter of eyelashes upon a cheek,
Children around corners taking a peek,
Making pictures out of a cloud,
Realising you’re thinking aloud,
The soft coos of a wandering dove,
Lying in the arms of the one you love,
Snuggling for a cuddle on Grandpa’s lap,
Retreating to the sun for an afternoon nap,
The coolness of sheets when the night is hot,
The twirling of a mobile over a cot,
Wrinkles on the back of a hand,
Running carefree along white sand,
Goodnight kisses being tucked up in bed,
Songs that get stuck in your head,
Lullabies drifting in from sleep,
Diving into water so clear and deep,
Finishing sentences of someone dear,
Mum rocking away an innocent fear,
Sore stomachs from giggles and laughs,
Finding love along a rocky path,
Receiving letters in the mail,
Feeling the sting of winter’s hail,
Loving people who love you as well,
Catching snowflakes on tongues as they fell,
Picking up the phone and having a long chat,
Sitting cross legged on the classroom mat,
Small things. . .

Arian . . .

So Angry I Could...

Why the hell can you not pick your family?? I know lots of really nice people that I would be happy to audition for the job - I'm sure they would not unload vitriolic shit on me, treat me with disrespect, or drive me to drink! Not to mention filling up my inbox with their smack!

Going to report them as spam tomorrow, to protect and start proceedings with the lawyer to divorce myself from certian family members (not you Mamakat - you are ok :)). But as for the rest of the greedy, money hungry, roach infested barstards they are out...... I AM OVER IT!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr very grumped up right now.

Bumtittyarseshittyfuckbuggerdamn.