A Horrible Person . . .

I think I am a horrible person, the worst of the worst - I am practically the beggar on the street corner with a pile of starving puppies that I will drown and use the money you give me to buy beer. . . well not quite I do love puppies (and kittens and chicks and baby most things except baby snakes they are still snakes at the end of the day). Why am I horrific, a threat to society and possibly certifiable? Well . . .

I am a trainee paramedic, I am learning and LOVING it! OK not so bad so far.... Because at the moment my "paramedic" career is still in its very early stages I am a volunteer, so I only do one 12hour shift a week. Which is enough quite frankly, especially alongside my paid 60 hour week, training and studying. Still we haven't yet got to the root of my evil ... here goes... I crave, yearn for and hope that people hurt themselves, try to die, maim, injure, crash, slip, trip and fall - but and this is the kicker - I want them to do it only in the 12 hour period when I am working. Now before you send the men in the white coats to take me away, I don't want them to die - that is messy and too much paperwork but I do want the opportunity to save them.

I am jealous tonight because a man tried to commit suicide by shooting himself, he succeeded in shooting himself but not in dying... good result - except for the fact he did it on day shift and not my night shift.... does that make me evil????

Lights and sirens and blood, guts and gore press my buttons...problem?