Thursday, April 29, 2010


Thinking about embarking on a relationship (if only it was that easy), and purging and exorcising the imaginary lovers from my mind got me thinking about the past relationships I've had...

'The First', N, Also known as 'The One I Wish I Hadn't Fucked Up'
Ohhh N, My first grown up love. He was slightly older than me and yet we worked. From the moment we first went from friends to more, it was like the planets had realigned so that we could be the centre of each others universe. He was (is) handsome, caring and loving. Unfortunately my over reactive 'girl brain' kicked in as my insecurities misled me and I broke up with him. We were shocked, we were sad, we still fooled around abit afterwards. He still walks into my Mum house lays on the couch like he lives there, calls Mum - well Mum, makes my blood boil when I see him, and can hug like noone I've met since...

'Schizo Ex', We went out for quite a while, practically lived together, hung out with respective families. Had pet names, had great sex, had a great time together. Until the crazies came over him and in 8 hours we were apart one day he decided it was over. Ended with a phone call, "don't ever call me again". OK of course I redialled, then visited, was met by the blackest scariest eyes and all the hostility in the world. Had a cuppa with his grandma and walked out, confused, upset and beyond sad. I got an apology and wish I hadn't treated you like that I still love you two years later.... yeah two years too little to late buddy. (Meanwhile, Grandma, Sister and I are still good friends and we laugh at the fool regularly).

'The Ex', No fancy title needed. We were together for long enough that people kept looking at my finger expecting a flash of diamond. Sadly, we were meant to be, we went the full circle from friends, to GF/BF, to 'partners' and back to friends. Its a happy place to be now. Don't get me wrong there were plenty of tears shed, plenty of snide remarks and plenty of 'have we done the right thing?'... In a word, Yes.

So I'm figuring, since it is possible to love and be loved, it will happen again. One day. Hopefully. Before I am old and grey and surrounded by cats.

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